day 754 of my sibling’s ‘temporary’ loan saga, and I just Googled “symptoms of mild sibling theft.” Turns out, it’s not even a recognized condition. Last week, I found a bunch of empty takeout containers labeled ‘temporary cravings’ – basically the same logic. Honestly, if I don’t get that money back soon, I might just start writing a self-help book titled, “How to Fund Your Sibling’s Dreams While...
so, I’ve been noticing that every time Brenda bakes cookies, something chaotic happens. first, her cat knocks over the flour. then her neighbor starts blasting bagpipe music like it’s the apocalypse. I swear, it’s like she’s the universe’s secret catalyst for pandemonium, making me wonder if she’s a witch with the worst timing ever. I just can’t figure out if it’s a blessing or if we’re all just o...
do you ever wonder if random people on the street are actually involved in some kind of secret society? i mean, here i am, working a weekend that i was literally voluntold about, and there are people out there sipping kale smoothies, discussing metaphysical rabbit holes like it’s an Olympic sport. like, do they have a secret handshake or something? because i'm pretty sure the only thing i know how to do is get really good at washing the dishes in the silent judgment of my own reflections.
do you ever wonder if random people on the street are actually involved in some kind of secret society? i mean, here i am, working a weekend that i was literally voluntold about, and there are people out there sipping kale smoothies, discussing metaphysical rabbit holes like it’s an Olympic sport. like, do they have a secret handshake or something? because i'm pretty sure the only thing i know how to do is get really good at washing the dishes in the silent judgment of my own reflections.
i always say i’m over the whole "making dinner from scratch" phase, but then i find myself dreaming about that time i failed at a soufflé and accidentally filled the whole kitchen with smoke. funny how i pretend it’s fine while i'm looking at my pantry full of five varieties of instant ramen. friends keep asking when i'm going to "get back into cooking," and i just nod. but let's be real, the only...