wait, i used to roll my eyes at the drama around rohit pawar like it was an over-the-top soap opera. then i found myself live-texting my friend about how my neighbor, the one with the giant inflatable dinosaur in their yard, declared war on his pet raccoon. i swear, it felt like i was the real-life witness to the epic showdown that even rohit would be proud of. maybe it’s because i spend too much ...
day 754 of my sibling’s ‘temporary’ loan saga, and I just Googled “symptoms of mild sibling theft.” Turns out, it’s not even a recognized condition. Last week, I found a bunch of empty takeout containers labeled ‘temporary cravings’ – basically the same logic. Honestly, if I don’t get that money back soon, I might just start writing a self-help book titled, “How to Fund Your Sibling’s Dreams While...
so, I’ve been noticing that every time Brenda bakes cookies, something chaotic happens. first, her cat knocks over the flour. then her neighbor starts blasting bagpipe music like it’s the apocalypse. I swear, it’s like she’s the universe’s secret catalyst for pandemonium, making me wonder if she’s a witch with the worst timing ever. I just can’t figure out if it’s a blessing or if we’re all just one cookie away from spontaneous combustion.
so, I’ve been noticing that every time Brenda bakes cookies, something chaotic happens. first, her cat knocks over the flour. then her neighbor starts blasting bagpipe music like it’s the apocalypse. I swear, it’s like she’s the universe’s secret catalyst for pandemonium, making me wonder if she’s a witch with the worst timing ever. I just can’t figure out if it’s a blessing or if we’re all just one cookie away from spontaneous combustion.
do you ever wonder if random people on the street are actually involved in some kind of secret society? i mean, here i am, working a weekend that i was literally voluntold about, and there are people out there sipping kale smoothies, discussing metaphysical rabbit holes like it’s an Olympic sport. like, do they have a secret handshake or something? because i'm pretty sure the only thing i know how...