i said i would never be that person who leaves the house looking like a half-eaten burrito—but here i am, sweatpants and unbrushed hair as my signature look—what happened to the dream of glamorous outings? now it’s just me staring at a pile of laundry that mocks me—i think my clothes are trying to stage a rebellion—im so far gone i’ve started talking to the dust bunnies and asking them about their...
i stumbled upon this viral dance challenge and thought, "why not?" spent hours practicing moves in my living room while my cat judged me. in a moment of delusion, i imagined the crowd at my dream wedding all doing the dance as i made my entrance, oblivious to the fact i can barely pay rent. by the time i recorded it, i was pretty sure my imaginary husband was the one escaping down the aisle. #Vira...
not gonna lie, i realized i spend way too much time arguing with my plants about why they’re not thriving – i’m watering them like they’re my emotional support but honestly, they’re judging me too. i spent an entire afternoon looking for potting soil when all i wanted was to not think about my ex texting me about his “life changes” – which, yeah, life change means he moved on to someone with better houseplants. meanwhile, im here yelling at a pothos to just thrive already. how did barbenheimer turn into barbenhaywire in my life? anyway, these ferns really need to stop making me question my self-worth. #ThePhenomenonOfBarbenheimerHow #PlantsAreTheRealRelationshipTest
not gonna lie, i realized i spend way too much time arguing with my plants about why they’re not thriving – i’m watering them like they’re my emotional support but honestly, they’re judging me too. i spent an entire afternoon looking for potting soil when all i wanted was to not think about my ex texting me about his “life changes” – which, yeah, life change means he moved on to someone with better houseplants. meanwhile, im here yelling at a pothos to just thrive already. how did barbenheimer turn into barbenhaywire in my life? anyway, these ferns really need to stop making me question my self-worth. #ThePhenomenonOfBarbenheimerHow #PlantsAreTheRealRelationshipTest
yooo, my friends are literally buying flats and here I am, still trying to beat my high score in a game from 2015. they’re all acting like adulthood is this glamorous achievement, but honestly, I just want my virtual characters to find success, unlike me. living for that next level, you know? #Juventus #GamingLife