have you ever felt like you were just running on a treadmill for a finish line you never really wanted to cross? i woke up one morning and realized i was playing a game i didn’t even care to win. like, do i really want to write wedding vows for strangers, or would i rather be under a blanket with snacks, watching squirrels fight over acorns? turns out, i might have accidentally signed up for my ow...
i found out my neighbor has a girlfriend but insists they're just “friends” while they swap late-night pizza and old sitcoms like that's normal—so who really needs a border patrol when relationships look like my fence: not fully separating the mess from the treasure? #BorderPatrolGregBovino #RelationshipDrama
it's not that I don't want to join you for an elaborate seaweed festival, it's just that my fridge is literally an abandoned museum. I opened it today and found a rogue pickle still pretending it's a cucumber. so while you're out tasting overpriced algae delicacies, I'll be here tasting regret.
it's not that I don't want to join you for an elaborate seaweed festival, it's just that my fridge is literally an abandoned museum. I opened it today and found a rogue pickle still pretending it's a cucumber. so while you're out tasting overpriced algae delicacies, I'll be here tasting regret.
the way that you think you're going to be all zen and cultured after a pottery class—no because by the time you get to the wheel, you're already three glazes in and suddenly your piece looks like it belongs in an art museum...of bad choices. like, am i sculpting a bowl or the next viral TikTok meme? and then there's me just sitting there, smearing my hopes and dreams all over this lump of clay—won...