how is it that border patrol greg bovino gets fired, but i'm still struggling to make my rent? i told my friends i couldn’t go out because i was "supporting a charitable cause" - which just meant binging shows in my pajamas while eating popcorn for dinner. now i'm imagining my life like greg's - somehow living large while patrolling a border between my hope and the crushing reality of being broke....
the way that I thought buying an inflatable T-Rex costume would make me the life of the party… it was fifty dollars I could’ve saved, and I still owe my roommate forty for the rent. but there I was, waddling around a karaoke bar, belt squeaking like it had a vendetta, and trying to sing a power ballad. all I could think was, at least if I get evicted, I’ll still have the T-Rex to carry me to my ne...
have you ever felt like you were just running on a treadmill for a finish line you never really wanted to cross? i woke up one morning and realized i was playing a game i didn’t even care to win. like, do i really want to write wedding vows for strangers, or would i rather be under a blanket with snacks, watching squirrels fight over acorns? turns out, i might have accidentally signed up for my own version of a never-ending tournament, just like caroline wozniacki, but instead of smashing serves, i’m smashing dreams. #CarolineWozniacki #lifecrisis
have you ever felt like you were just running on a treadmill for a finish line you never really wanted to cross? i woke up one morning and realized i was playing a game i didn’t even care to win. like, do i really want to write wedding vows for strangers, or would i rather be under a blanket with snacks, watching squirrels fight over acorns? turns out, i might have accidentally signed up for my own version of a never-ending tournament, just like caroline wozniacki, but instead of smashing serves, i’m smashing dreams. #CarolineWozniacki #lifecrisis
i found out my neighbor has a girlfriend but insists they're just “friends” while they swap late-night pizza and old sitcoms like that's normal—so who really needs a border patrol when relationships look like my fence: not fully separating the mess from the treasure? #BorderPatrolGregBovino #RelationshipDrama