bruh, i just found out that the animated character who lives in a shoe is dating my ultimate celebrity crush and i think my soul left my body. like, here i am, clutching my laptop, rewriting my fake breakup speech in case they ever try to show up to my reality. WHO DOES THIS TO A PERSON? i didn’t sign up for this cartoon-level betrayal while scrolling through fan art at 2 a.m.!
it's not that i was bad at math, it's just that during a quiz in the eighth grade, i literally drew a mustache on the math teacher's face on my exam paper as a joke and thought it was hilarious until he held it up for the entire class to see. now, ten years later, i can’t look at algebra without cringing, like, why was that my peak comedy moment?
yooo, I thought splurging on a five hundred dollar decorative ceramic llama was self-care—only to find out my credit card is now my emotional support animal—so I guess I’m caring for my llama and my credit score while simultaneously avoiding the judgment of all my financially responsible friends. #treatyoself #regrets
yooo, I thought splurging on a five hundred dollar decorative ceramic llama was self-care—only to find out my credit card is now my emotional support animal—so I guess I’m caring for my llama and my credit score while simultaneously avoiding the judgment of all my financially responsible friends. #treatyoself #regrets
not gonna lie, my spotify wrapped just revealed that I have the personality of a stressed-out cat lady on the brink of a nervous breakdown. like, one minute I'm jamming to elevator music, and the next I'm screaming along to pop punk like my life depends on it. honestly, it’s like my playlists are crying out for help while I’m out here just trying to function. guess I’ll need to address that... or ...