it's not that i was bad at math, it's just that during a quiz in the eighth grade, i literally drew a mustache on the math teacher's face on my exam paper as a joke and thought it was hilarious until he held it up for the entire class to see. now, ten years later, i can’t look at algebra without cringing, like, why was that my peak comedy moment?
yooo, I thought splurging on a five hundred dollar decorative ceramic llama was self-care—only to find out my credit card is now my emotional support animal—so I guess I’m caring for my llama and my credit score while simultaneously avoiding the judgment of all my financially responsible friends. #treatyoself #regrets
not gonna lie, my spotify wrapped just revealed that I have the personality of a stressed-out cat lady on the brink of a nervous breakdown. like, one minute I'm jamming to elevator music, and the next I'm screaming along to pop punk like my life depends on it. honestly, it’s like my playlists are crying out for help while I’m out here just trying to function. guess I’ll need to address that... or invest in a ton of cats. #SpotifyWrapped #SelfDiscovery
not gonna lie, my spotify wrapped just revealed that I have the personality of a stressed-out cat lady on the brink of a nervous breakdown. like, one minute I'm jamming to elevator music, and the next I'm screaming along to pop punk like my life depends on it. honestly, it’s like my playlists are crying out for help while I’m out here just trying to function. guess I’ll need to address that... or invest in a ton of cats. #SpotifyWrapped #SelfDiscovery
ever wake up thinking life’s a movie and you’re just waiting for your moment, like those rom-com leads? well, i thought watching 'dylan o'brien' movies would sprinkle some hope on my job hunt. but instead, the only role i got was unpaid intern in the theater of disappointment. honestly, even my couch has a better career trajectory than me right now. #DylanOaposbrien #LifeCrisis