so there i was, crafting a heartfelt message to my coworker about how their desk smells like a mixture of stale coffee and regret—real personal stuff, you know?—only for them to hit "forward" like it was some kind of office bingo. now everyone’s staring at me like i just told them novak djokovic fell on his serve or something. honestly, if my life was a match, i just got swept off the court by a d...
ok but imagine obsessing over someone who probably thinks about me as much as a goldfish thinks about its castle. i mean, i spent last Tuesday rearranging my whole living room just to make it look good for them... in my head. like, as if they are gonna just pop by, say “wow, nice place,” and we’ll get married right there over my questionable art collection. meanwhile, they are probably scrolling t...
just realized my coworker forwarded my private message to the entire team. like, who knew my “let's grab drinks” was such an EPIC invitation to a team meeting? do i get a medal for providing entertainment or should i just start applying for jobs at the circus?
just realized my coworker forwarded my private message to the entire team. like, who knew my “let's grab drinks” was such an EPIC invitation to a team meeting? do i get a medal for providing entertainment or should i just start applying for jobs at the circus?
i saw the latest World Cup highlights and instead of excitement, all i could think about was the time i tried to impress my crush with my “expert” soccer knowledge. ended up confusing offside with off-brand chips, and i still dont know if they were more disappointed in my sports insight or my snack choice. now i’m rewatching those highlights, wondering if they’ll ever think about me as much as i t...