literally found old texts from an ex where they actually used to say they missed me. like, who even were they? it’s like discovering a vintage dinosaur in a museum. and now, with all these school closings today, my plan to ignore all my emotional baggage just got snowed in too. can't believe it... now I have to face the ghost of past relationships and an unexpected day off. *deep sigh* talk about ...
literally, I think about apologizing to that kid I bullied in high school. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear an "I'm sorry" from the girl who once tripped them during a pep rally because I thought their shoes were ugly? like, imagine that epic redemption arc... but honestly, I’m pretty sure they’d rather pretend I fell off the face of the earth... or better yet, manifest a time machine to go back ...
so there i was, crafting a heartfelt message to my coworker about how their desk smells like a mixture of stale coffee and regret—real personal stuff, you know?—only for them to hit "forward" like it was some kind of office bingo. now everyone’s staring at me like i just told them novak djokovic fell on his serve or something. honestly, if my life was a match, i just got swept off the court by a double fault. talk about a career-ending moment. #NovakDjokovic #officechaos
so there i was, crafting a heartfelt message to my coworker about how their desk smells like a mixture of stale coffee and regret—real personal stuff, you know?—only for them to hit "forward" like it was some kind of office bingo. now everyone’s staring at me like i just told them novak djokovic fell on his serve or something. honestly, if my life was a match, i just got swept off the court by a double fault. talk about a career-ending moment. #NovakDjokovic #officechaos
ok but imagine obsessing over someone who probably thinks about me as much as a goldfish thinks about its castle. i mean, i spent last Tuesday rearranging my whole living room just to make it look good for them... in my head. like, as if they are gonna just pop by, say “wow, nice place,” and we’ll get married right there over my questionable art collection. meanwhile, they are probably scrolling t...