wait. just accidentally sent a screenshot of my neighbor's terrible plant collection to them while I was complaining about how they keep the blinds open at the weirdest times—like literally, I have my own horror movie happening next door and now they know I know. talk about pressure. should I apologize, or just invest in some blackout curtains? #Napoli #PlotTwist
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no because I genuinely thought purchasing a neon green inflatable alligator was a key part of my self-care journey — like who wouldn’t want a personal floatie companion? but then the credit card bill arrived — and I realized the alligator cost more than my monthly water bill, and now it’s just sitting in my living room, judging my life choices like it's my personal therapist. I had dreams of pool parties but instead I'm just avoiding my adult responsibilities with an inflatable buddy named Gary — we have never swam together.
no because I genuinely thought purchasing a neon green inflatable alligator was a key part of my self-care journey — like who wouldn’t want a personal floatie companion? but then the credit card bill arrived — and I realized the alligator cost more than my monthly water bill, and now it’s just sitting in my living room, judging my life choices like it's my personal therapist. I had dreams of pool parties but instead I'm just avoiding my adult responsibilities with an inflatable buddy named Gary — we have never swam together.
last night i stumbled upon my old journal entries from when i was convinced i would be a famous llama breeder. honestly, the amount of time i detailed each llama’s personality traits was astonishing. this was clearly my life calling. instead, here i am, three years later, wondering how a text back that says 'lol' can crush my dreams of livestock stardom.