why does it feel like the only goal of my existence is to avoid awkward small talk about my promotion that didn't happen again—just like Atlético Madrid trying to escape their bad run, while I’m here drenching my sorrows in the double-shot caramel macchiato from my barista crush—who, I swear, has me falling harder than I ever fell for my fifth-grade crush, even though they don't know I exist. but ...
so my ‘best friend’ only texts me when they need a favor. I can literally see the pattern, like clockwork, ‘Hey can you help me with this’ every single time. it’s like i’m their unpaid therapist, and honestly? I’m over here hoping they’ll text me for a chat about this massive Portsmouth vs Southampton thing instead. but no, just crickets and my anxiety levels skyrocketing at midnight, thinking may...
not gonna lie, i was literally just sitting at work daydreaming about my big moment, you know, the one where you swoop in like Carlos Alcaraz at the Australian Open, and take charge. but instead, i spilled my coffee all over my boss's presentation, while thinking about a world where my only competition is someone named Moutet in a drop-shot battle. guess what? i'm now that person who brings a spare shirt to meetings because i realized i might as well just train for embarrassment. #AustralianOpenResults #worknightmare
not gonna lie, i was literally just sitting at work daydreaming about my big moment, you know, the one where you swoop in like Carlos Alcaraz at the Australian Open, and take charge. but instead, i spilled my coffee all over my boss's presentation, while thinking about a world where my only competition is someone named Moutet in a drop-shot battle. guess what? i'm now that person who brings a spare shirt to meetings because i realized i might as well just train for embarrassment. #AustralianOpenResults #worknightmare
the way that i just checked my phone and saw my coworker forwarded my private message about wanting to escape this snowstorm to the whole team is truly unhinged. like, is it too much to ask to vent about my ex when we're all buried under a foot of snow? now everyone thinks i can't handle winter AND relationships. great. #HowMuchSnowDidWeGet #sendhelp