literally just saw the news about OPM closing everything down. thought, wow, that means the government adults have as much idea what they’re doing as i do with my dating profile that’s just… collecting dust. they keep telling us to follow the rules while they sit at home, cozy in their sweatpants, sipping coffee and binging shows. like, do they have it all figured out or are we just all pretending...
no because i just wrote a heartfelt thank you speech for an award i will never win—thanking my plants for their unwavering support during my darkest times. like they were going to clap back at me or something.
why does it feel like the only goal of my existence is to avoid awkward small talk about my promotion that didn't happen again—just like Atlético Madrid trying to escape their bad run, while I’m here drenching my sorrows in the double-shot caramel macchiato from my barista crush—who, I swear, has me falling harder than I ever fell for my fifth-grade crush, even though they don't know I exist. but you know, one day they will see my despair—and love me for it. #AtlticoMadridVsMallorca #lifecrushes
why does it feel like the only goal of my existence is to avoid awkward small talk about my promotion that didn't happen again—just like Atlético Madrid trying to escape their bad run, while I’m here drenching my sorrows in the double-shot caramel macchiato from my barista crush—who, I swear, has me falling harder than I ever fell for my fifth-grade crush, even though they don't know I exist. but you know, one day they will see my despair—and love me for it. #AtlticoMadridVsMallorca #lifecrushes
so my ‘best friend’ only texts me when they need a favor. I can literally see the pattern, like clockwork, ‘Hey can you help me with this’ every single time. it’s like i’m their unpaid therapist, and honestly? I’m over here hoping they’ll text me for a chat about this massive Portsmouth vs Southampton thing instead. but no, just crickets and my anxiety levels skyrocketing at midnight, thinking may...