it’s six thirty and my banana is literally turning brown in the bowl because they just promoted the guy who brought in donuts once, so now I have to wonder if I should start baking at home to stand a chance, but honestly I cannot cook, and the last thing I made was a bowl of cereal that somehow spilled on the ceiling.
it's not that i care about diljit dosanjh becoming a global icon, it's just that i had to get through three days of wondering if they ghosted me or just my sense of humor is that bad, and then they hit me with a casual 'lol' like we didn't just skip the awkward dance of 'read receipts', honestly. meanwhile, diljit's life is basically a motivational poster while i'm here fighting with my inner self...
just checked my camera roll and realized i have 47 screenshots of leicester city vs west brom match highlights. like, i need to explain to someone why i was screen-recording while wearing my pajama pants. if anyone saw that, i would definitely need a solid alibi. maybe i could say i was practicing for the debate team that i never joined. #LeicesterCityVsWestBrom #HiddenShame
just checked my camera roll and realized i have 47 screenshots of leicester city vs west brom match highlights. like, i need to explain to someone why i was screen-recording while wearing my pajama pants. if anyone saw that, i would definitely need a solid alibi. maybe i could say i was practicing for the debate team that i never joined. #LeicesterCityVsWestBrom #HiddenShame
just got passed over for a promotion AGAIN. walked into the meeting, they wouldn't even look me in the eye. meanwhile, my heart is breaking like a romance novel because girija oak is out here stealing everyone's attention with her effortless charm. like, how does she manage to look so cute without even trying? now i'm questioning everything. am i destined to become the office plant no one waters? ...