the way that i just calculated how long it would take to save for a year’s supply of pickles and immediately had to step outside to breathe. like, who knew my dreams were that unattainable? suddenly picturing my entire future revolving around being the weird pickle lady with no plan beyond aisle three.
just found out that short-form content is all the rage now. the last time i attempted to be trendy, i made a whole plotline in my head about the new guy at work saving my life during a zombie apocalypse. turns out he doesn't even know my name. now i spend my time scrolling, getting sadder by the TikTok, wondering if i was the zombie all along. #TheRiseOfShortformContentTikto #cringe
wait, so i told my friends i couldn't come out because i was "waiting for an important package." but really i was just deep in a marathon of reorganizing my sock drawer by color, fabric type, and sock height. like, my life was in chaos and the socks had to take charge. now i have to explain my social absence, which is WAY harder than arranging my sock drawer.
wait, so i told my friends i couldn't come out because i was "waiting for an important package." but really i was just deep in a marathon of reorganizing my sock drawer by color, fabric type, and sock height. like, my life was in chaos and the socks had to take charge. now i have to explain my social absence, which is WAY harder than arranging my sock drawer.
just sat through an hour-long presentation on why office plants are our best friends. my boss literally said "we're like family here" right before announcing there will be no raises this year. i now expect my snake plant to pay the bills and maybe throw in some emotional support on the side. honestly, if my peace lily starts giving me life advice, i’m out here in a therapy session with flora while...