it's not that I have a weird obsession. it's just... I’ve been using a paper map to plan my escape route in case of an emergency that will probably never happen. after I triple texted my ‘I hope we can still be friends’ text, I genuinely considered getting lost in the wilderness instead. it’s actually just really peaceful out there...
so my parents just waltzed in and found me wearing a pineapple costume. it was leftover from that time i thought i could start a fruit-themed fitness YouTube channel. there are actual weights in the corner next to a pile of takeout containers labeled "healthy choices". nothing says I have my life together like a fruit suit and the remnants of a forgotten meal plan. #selfsabotage #quirkyhobbies
i just found out that my friend group is divided over which fruit reigns supreme, and honestly, who even knew bananas could spark this level of DRAMA. one minute we are vibing over dinner, and the next, i am sitting in the corner like an orphan at a wedding while they debate if bananas are superior or just a yellow fraud. now i am considering switching my entire diet to grapes because they’re neutral and everyone loves them, but honestly, what if the grape lovers declare war on me next? i just wanted a snack.
i just found out that my friend group is divided over which fruit reigns supreme, and honestly, who even knew bananas could spark this level of DRAMA. one minute we are vibing over dinner, and the next, i am sitting in the corner like an orphan at a wedding while they debate if bananas are superior or just a yellow fraud. now i am considering switching my entire diet to grapes because they’re neutral and everyone loves them, but honestly, what if the grape lovers declare war on me next? i just wanted a snack.
not gonna lie, i found out the new hire i trained literally makes more money than me. like, how does that even work? i once gave them a breakdown on the color palettes of retro playstation games while they nodded like i was delivering a TED Talk. i thought that was my moment to shine, but now i’m just here staring at my paycheck and contemplating if i can get rich off my deep knowledge of gaming n...