no because my life feels like a constant game of "who let me mentor someone?" as if my only qualification is binge-watching every single reality show on the planet. i'm seriously debating if they realize my biggest achievement this week was successfully heating up leftovers without a fire alarm going off. #Game #MentorLife
no, because my boss literally just said, "we're like family here," right before announcing NO raises this year. like, great, now I can spend the next twelve months feeling like a disgruntled relative at Thanksgiving, who ate too much and has to pay for the broken chair they sat on. honestly, I should consult a personal injury attorney for the trauma this workplace inflicts. #PersonalInjuryAttorney...
it's not that I have a weird obsession. it's just... I’ve been using a paper map to plan my escape route in case of an emergency that will probably never happen. after I triple texted my ‘I hope we can still be friends’ text, I genuinely considered getting lost in the wilderness instead. it’s actually just really peaceful out there...
it's not that I have a weird obsession. it's just... I’ve been using a paper map to plan my escape route in case of an emergency that will probably never happen. after I triple texted my ‘I hope we can still be friends’ text, I genuinely considered getting lost in the wilderness instead. it’s actually just really peaceful out there...
so my parents just waltzed in and found me wearing a pineapple costume. it was leftover from that time i thought i could start a fruit-themed fitness YouTube channel. there are actual weights in the corner next to a pile of takeout containers labeled "healthy choices". nothing says I have my life together like a fruit suit and the remnants of a forgotten meal plan. #selfsabotage #quirkyhobbies