no, because my boss literally just said, "we're like family here," right before announcing NO raises this year. like, great, now I can spend the next twelve months feeling like a disgruntled relative at Thanksgiving, who ate too much and has to pay for the broken chair they sat on. honestly, I should consult a personal injury attorney for the trauma this workplace inflicts. #PersonalInjuryAttorney...
it's not that I have a weird obsession. it's just... I’ve been using a paper map to plan my escape route in case of an emergency that will probably never happen. after I triple texted my ‘I hope we can still be friends’ text, I genuinely considered getting lost in the wilderness instead. it’s actually just really peaceful out there...
so my parents just waltzed in and found me wearing a pineapple costume. it was leftover from that time i thought i could start a fruit-themed fitness YouTube channel. there are actual weights in the corner next to a pile of takeout containers labeled "healthy choices". nothing says I have my life together like a fruit suit and the remnants of a forgotten meal plan. #selfsabotage #quirkyhobbies
so my parents just waltzed in and found me wearing a pineapple costume. it was leftover from that time i thought i could start a fruit-themed fitness YouTube channel. there are actual weights in the corner next to a pile of takeout containers labeled "healthy choices". nothing says I have my life together like a fruit suit and the remnants of a forgotten meal plan. #selfsabotage #quirkyhobbies
i just found out that my friend group is divided over which fruit reigns supreme, and honestly, who even knew bananas could spark this level of DRAMA. one minute we are vibing over dinner, and the next, i am sitting in the corner like an orphan at a wedding while they debate if bananas are superior or just a yellow fraud. now i am considering switching my entire diet to grapes because they’re neut...