i was just scrolling through my messages when i accidentally hearted my own deep thoughts about the upcoming vanderbilt basketball game. you know, the ones where i expressed my sheer emotional turmoil over their last play? now it looks like i’m cheerleading my own existential crisis. i can’t even undo it without feeling like i’m admitting defeat in my own dramatic soap opera. if anyone asks why my...
yooo, just found out my situationship introduced me as "a friend" to his mom while i was buying ice cream for us. like, bruh, we were literally planning our 'life together' over fruit snacks last week. now i'm sitting here like a sad background character while he chats up his mom about Antoine Semenyo like that's normal life advice. how do i go from partner to friendly ice cream buddy? will my rea...
no, because my family literally won't stop bringing up my ex like he was the only person on the planet. they talk about how great he was like i'm not over here dodging their questions and desperately trying to justify why i'm with my current partner. it’s like i’m literally living in my own little horror show. and yesterday my mom asked if we should "just give my ex another chance" while i was ordering takeout. like, do i call him? should i apologize for not being able to properly ignore the existential crisis his name invokes? #Evanilson #FamilyDrama
no, because my family literally won't stop bringing up my ex like he was the only person on the planet. they talk about how great he was like i'm not over here dodging their questions and desperately trying to justify why i'm with my current partner. it’s like i’m literally living in my own little horror show. and yesterday my mom asked if we should "just give my ex another chance" while i was ordering takeout. like, do i call him? should i apologize for not being able to properly ignore the existential crisis his name invokes? #Evanilson #FamilyDrama
just found out my company laid off half the team and somehow assigned ME the workload of the entire department—like, am I the new Gabriel Magalhaes? over here gifting goals to my sanity. so now I'm in this office bunker surrounded by empty desks, processing my grief with snacks like I’m attending a bizarre funeral for my workload. —and then I remembered I once stayed up until 2am practicing my bre...