yooo, just found out my situationship introduced me as "a friend" to his mom while i was buying ice cream for us. like, bruh, we were literally planning our 'life together' over fruit snacks last week. now i'm sitting here like a sad background character while he chats up his mom about Antoine Semenyo like that's normal life advice. how do i go from partner to friendly ice cream buddy? will my rea...
no, because my family literally won't stop bringing up my ex like he was the only person on the planet. they talk about how great he was like i'm not over here dodging their questions and desperately trying to justify why i'm with my current partner. it’s like i’m literally living in my own little horror show. and yesterday my mom asked if we should "just give my ex another chance" while i was ord...
just found out my company laid off half the team and somehow assigned ME the workload of the entire department—like, am I the new Gabriel Magalhaes? over here gifting goals to my sanity. so now I'm in this office bunker surrounded by empty desks, processing my grief with snacks like I’m attending a bizarre funeral for my workload. —and then I remembered I once stayed up until 2am practicing my breakup speech for someone I don’t even date. so, life really said, welcome to the dramatic absurdity—who knew self-sabotage was this on-brand? #GabrielMagalhes #WorkplaceDrama
just found out my company laid off half the team and somehow assigned ME the workload of the entire department—like, am I the new Gabriel Magalhaes? over here gifting goals to my sanity. so now I'm in this office bunker surrounded by empty desks, processing my grief with snacks like I’m attending a bizarre funeral for my workload. —and then I remembered I once stayed up until 2am practicing my breakup speech for someone I don’t even date. so, life really said, welcome to the dramatic absurdity—who knew self-sabotage was this on-brand? #GabrielMagalhes #WorkplaceDrama
last night, i calculated how my life would be different if i had chosen to go left instead of right at that random intersection three years ago. apparently, i would have been living a peaceful life with a pet turtle named Gus, who enjoys classical music and not caring about the state of the world. instead, here i am, still arguing with my plants about why they cannot talk back, which is honestly m...