it’s literally 3 AM and I just realized I had a full-on argument in my head with the barista who didn’t give me extra whipped cream. I’m literally mad at them now, and they don’t even know my name. meanwhile, fc st. pauli vs hamburger sv is trending and I’m over here throwing passive-aggressive thoughts about coffee back and forth like I’m an unqualified referee. should I send a complaint email? s...
yooo, just found out that "O Romeo" has a release date. I thought it might inspire me, like maybe I'd find my own dramatic love story. instead, I’m here contemplating why my last relationship ended with “ok.” is it too late to text back and say “but I was the Juliet in this situation?” maybe I should've prepared an entire monologue like they do in movies, with props and everything. life's too shor...
day 14 of my hot sauce obsession and i accidentally liked a three-year-old post from a local hot sauce blogger. they said “this one is too hot” and i liked it like i was giving them a standing ovation for a masterpiece. now i can’t go to the farmer's market because i just KNOW they saw it and think i am their number one fan. what am i supposed to do? hide behind a booth and make unholy sacrifices to the spicy gods?
day 14 of my hot sauce obsession and i accidentally liked a three-year-old post from a local hot sauce blogger. they said “this one is too hot” and i liked it like i was giving them a standing ovation for a masterpiece. now i can’t go to the farmer's market because i just KNOW they saw it and think i am their number one fan. what am i supposed to do? hide behind a booth and make unholy sacrifices to the spicy gods?
it's not that i believed we were meant to be or anything, it's just that i spent last weekend imagining how i would react when they confessed their undying love to me. i even practiced the surprised gasp and heartfelt smile. then i found out they never even broke up with their ex, and now i’m over here pretending to drown in my bathtub while contemplating whether i should watch my whole life crumb...