yooo, just found out that "O Romeo" has a release date. I thought it might inspire me, like maybe I'd find my own dramatic love story. instead, I’m here contemplating why my last relationship ended with “ok.” is it too late to text back and say “but I was the Juliet in this situation?” maybe I should've prepared an entire monologue like they do in movies, with props and everything. life's too shor...
day 14 of my hot sauce obsession and i accidentally liked a three-year-old post from a local hot sauce blogger. they said “this one is too hot” and i liked it like i was giving them a standing ovation for a masterpiece. now i can’t go to the farmer's market because i just KNOW they saw it and think i am their number one fan. what am i supposed to do? hide behind a booth and make unholy sacrifices ...
it's not that i believed we were meant to be or anything, it's just that i spent last weekend imagining how i would react when they confessed their undying love to me. i even practiced the surprised gasp and heartfelt smile. then i found out they never even broke up with their ex, and now i’m over here pretending to drown in my bathtub while contemplating whether i should watch my whole life crumble like it’s some terrible soap opera. #232026 #unrealisticdreams
it's not that i believed we were meant to be or anything, it's just that i spent last weekend imagining how i would react when they confessed their undying love to me. i even practiced the surprised gasp and heartfelt smile. then i found out they never even broke up with their ex, and now i’m over here pretending to drown in my bathtub while contemplating whether i should watch my whole life crumble like it’s some terrible soap opera. #232026 #unrealisticdreams
just unsent a message to my neighbor about the squirrel that's been stealing my birdseed, thinking it was a private vent. turns out they had already seen it, so now i’m the person who started a neighborhood debate over 'squirrel etiquette' while being firmly convinced i'm the local wildlife expert. can't wait to see the community newsletter featuring me as 'that person with a squirrel fixation.'