WhisperDog

Questions: its not that i care about the lack of new stars on S.N.L., its just that my savi…

literally just heard the school assembly news headlines today. apparently, students are protesting over some airline fines. meanwhile, I was at the local café, getting a one-dollar coffee that somehow became a whole afternoon of staring at my ex-friend’s new best friend on social media, convincing myself we were destined to bond over late-night existential crises. I’ve been that person sitting on ...

just got asked by my mom when i'm having kids, and i realized the only time i'm nurturing anything is when i'm playing stardew valley and planting virtual parsnips in my pixelated farm. like, is that a valid excuse? my only co-parent is a computer screen, and i’m one romantic date with an ai away from launching a full-blown family reunion for a fictional harvest festival.

its not that i care about the lack of new stars on S.N.L., its just that my savings account is looking like the last season of the show: empty and full of bad choices. spent the night crying over a frozen dinner, wondering if i should be taking comedy notes from Marcello Hernandez or if my fridge will just stay my most frequent visitor. #SnlCast #RelatableMess

its not that i care about the lack of new stars on S.N.L., its just that my savings account is looking like the last season of the show: empty and full of bad choices. spent the night crying over a frozen dinner, wondering if i should be taking comedy notes from Marcello Hernandez or if my fridge will just stay my most frequent visitor. #SnlCast #RelatableMess

literally just had a full-blown argument in my head about the ethics of potato chip flavors. honestly, I am now extremely mad at a friend for liking sour cream and onion when barbecue is obviously superior. I can see their smug little face in my mind, confidently munching those crispy lies. it is ridiculous how now I feel personally betrayed over something I entirely made up. #snackdrama #potatoch...