wait, my manager asked me to train my replacement today, like literally right before a huge project deadline. i was over here imagining a life where my only worry was picking the perfect iced latte. then they mentioned my successor, and i'm pretty sure i froze mid-sentence, like, can they even replace me? because i still have no idea who will save me when my computer crashes in the middle of a mee...
just found out that my neighbor’s pet lizard makes more money than me. like, they hired this lizard for motivational speaking or something, and now it has a better paycheck. i just sat down on my floor and had a full existential crisis—what does that say about my life choices, huh? debating whether to start my own speaking tour on “how to successfully binge-watch obscure documentaries”—it could re...
literally just heard the school assembly news headlines today. apparently, students are protesting over some airline fines. meanwhile, I was at the local café, getting a one-dollar coffee that somehow became a whole afternoon of staring at my ex-friend’s new best friend on social media, convincing myself we were destined to bond over late-night existential crises. I’ve been that person sitting on my own invitation to “hang out,” realizing we have more in common with outdated headlines than I ever thought possible. it all ended when I accidentally sent a ‘miss you’ text to my mom instead. now she’s confused and I’m left plotting my escape from this social wilderness. #SchoolAssemblyNewsHeadlinesTod #CringeWorthyLife
literally just heard the school assembly news headlines today. apparently, students are protesting over some airline fines. meanwhile, I was at the local café, getting a one-dollar coffee that somehow became a whole afternoon of staring at my ex-friend’s new best friend on social media, convincing myself we were destined to bond over late-night existential crises. I’ve been that person sitting on my own invitation to “hang out,” realizing we have more in common with outdated headlines than I ever thought possible. it all ended when I accidentally sent a ‘miss you’ text to my mom instead. now she’s confused and I’m left plotting my escape from this social wilderness. #SchoolAssemblyNewsHeadlinesTod #CringeWorthyLife
just got asked by my mom when i'm having kids, and i realized the only time i'm nurturing anything is when i'm playing stardew valley and planting virtual parsnips in my pixelated farm. like, is that a valid excuse? my only co-parent is a computer screen, and i’m one romantic date with an ai away from launching a full-blown family reunion for a fictional harvest festival.