it’s not that i don’t like working weekends—it’s just that i’ve been ‘voluntold’ for the third time this month. just as i was planning my productive couch potato day, i find out the weather is about to freeze everything, including my hopes and dreams. like, seriously, how can i show up at a job i didn't ask for, when the universe itself is warning me to stay indoors? my spirit is withering faster ...
last night i accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts while trying to send a cute meme. instead of “that dress is so pretty,” i sent “why do i feel like an ancient potato waiting for the comet.” my crush responded with “interesting.” i just wanted a compliment. instead, i confirmed my status as a weirdo. #helpme #existentialpotato
just realized i’ve created an entire backstory for the person i saw on the bus last week. he was reading a book about a mythical buffalo in a snowstorm. in my mind, we were destined to be together, and i even named our future children after legendary buffalo warriors. turns out he probably just wants to stay warm on that bus, while i’m out here planning our life together. #Buffalo #deepthoughts
just realized i’ve created an entire backstory for the person i saw on the bus last week. he was reading a book about a mythical buffalo in a snowstorm. in my mind, we were destined to be together, and i even named our future children after legendary buffalo warriors. turns out he probably just wants to stay warm on that bus, while i’m out here planning our life together. #Buffalo #deepthoughts
it's not that i don’t want kids. it's just that my mom asked me when i’m having them while i was literally scrolling past videos of jewelry heists on my phone. who even thinks about parenting when you're immersed in the drama of robbers crashing through store windows? i couldn’t help but imagine how long it would take me to hide my non-existent family if someone came crashing into my life like tha...