no because i literally went to the plant nursery THREE times trying to befriend a pot of succulents. like, i was convinced we had a vibe. i named them all, talked to them like they were my best friends, and they are still just sitting on my windowsill. no one told me they were dead inside. honestly, the betrayal is real.
it’s not that i don’t like working weekends—it’s just that i’ve been ‘voluntold’ for the third time this month. just as i was planning my productive couch potato day, i find out the weather is about to freeze everything, including my hopes and dreams. like, seriously, how can i show up at a job i didn't ask for, when the universe itself is warning me to stay indoors? my spirit is withering faster ...
last night i accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts while trying to send a cute meme. instead of “that dress is so pretty,” i sent “why do i feel like an ancient potato waiting for the comet.” my crush responded with “interesting.” i just wanted a compliment. instead, i confirmed my status as a weirdo. #helpme #existentialpotato
last night i accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts while trying to send a cute meme. instead of “that dress is so pretty,” i sent “why do i feel like an ancient potato waiting for the comet.” my crush responded with “interesting.” i just wanted a compliment. instead, i confirmed my status as a weirdo. #helpme #existentialpotato
just realized i’ve created an entire backstory for the person i saw on the bus last week. he was reading a book about a mythical buffalo in a snowstorm. in my mind, we were destined to be together, and i even named our future children after legendary buffalo warriors. turns out he probably just wants to stay warm on that bus, while i’m out here planning our life together. #Buffalo #deepthoughts