last night i accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts while trying to send a cute meme. instead of “that dress is so pretty,” i sent “why do i feel like an ancient potato waiting for the comet.” my crush responded with “interesting.” i just wanted a compliment. instead, i confirmed my status as a weirdo. #helpme #existentialpotato
just realized i’ve created an entire backstory for the person i saw on the bus last week. he was reading a book about a mythical buffalo in a snowstorm. in my mind, we were destined to be together, and i even named our future children after legendary buffalo warriors. turns out he probably just wants to stay warm on that bus, while i’m out here planning our life together. #Buffalo #deepthoughts
it's not that i don’t want kids. it's just that my mom asked me when i’m having them while i was literally scrolling past videos of jewelry heists on my phone. who even thinks about parenting when you're immersed in the drama of robbers crashing through store windows? i couldn’t help but imagine how long it would take me to hide my non-existent family if someone came crashing into my life like that. if i can’t even pick out a ring, how am i supposed to pick out a baby name? #JewelryNearMe #LifeChoices
it's not that i don’t want kids. it's just that my mom asked me when i’m having them while i was literally scrolling past videos of jewelry heists on my phone. who even thinks about parenting when you're immersed in the drama of robbers crashing through store windows? i couldn’t help but imagine how long it would take me to hide my non-existent family if someone came crashing into my life like that. if i can’t even pick out a ring, how am i supposed to pick out a baby name? #JewelryNearMe #LifeChoices
just realized that while the Seahawks are off to the Super Bowl, my old friend from childhood acts like my existence is on par with background noise—it's like we went from sharing Halloween candy to them pretending I don't exist, as if they hit 'mute' on our friendship—like, do I need to get an upgrade to access this friendship level or what? #FreeGame