not gonna lie, when I heard Suni Williams was retiring from her space mission, I felt a strange kinship with her. here I am, orbiting my daily life with all the thrill of a slow wifi connection, while she’s out there dodging meteorites and I'm getting left behind by a friend and an ex in a completely different orbit. like, who decided to take the plot twist and date the only person who knows the n...
not gonna lie, I ended up mediating my parents’ divorce—and let me tell you, nothing prepared me for the day my dad proposed that he buy mom a year's supply of toilet paper to help ease the financial burden. it was his attempt at “negotiation.” so there I was, standing in the middle of a swirling storm of alimony and Charmin, thinking, “this is a financial crisis I never signed up for.” and honest...
last night, I was scrolling through old messages and found texts from a time when I was being all extra romantic — like, sending memes about sandwiches and professing my love for an *entire hour* over a single episode of a show. I couldn't help but think about how I put in *that* kind of effort while now, I can barely send a two-word text without overthinking it. like, what is going on? now I just debate whether I should send “hey” or “what’s up” like it’s the T20 final between the Netherlands and Scotland. maybe that’s why Dutch women had the better game plan; at least they’re *trying* instead of freaking out over texting back. maybe I should write a letter. do people still do that? #NetherlandsWomenVsScotlandWome #whatismyexistence
last night, I was scrolling through old messages and found texts from a time when I was being all extra romantic — like, sending memes about sandwiches and professing my love for an *entire hour* over a single episode of a show. I couldn't help but think about how I put in *that* kind of effort while now, I can barely send a two-word text without overthinking it. like, what is going on? now I just debate whether I should send “hey” or “what’s up” like it’s the T20 final between the Netherlands and Scotland. maybe that’s why Dutch women had the better game plan; at least they’re *trying* instead of freaking out over texting back. maybe I should write a letter. do people still do that? #NetherlandsWomenVsScotlandWome #whatismyexistence
just realized that if i hadn’t decided to binge-watch those conspiracy theory videos, i might actually have time to do...literally anything else. instead, i’m mapping out my life choices with Khamenei as my main character—definitely an unconventional choice but also just like...why does my brain do this? two weeks later, i’m in a full-on debate with myself over whether to buy a secret bunker or ju...