just hearted my own message by accident and now i'm convinced it's a SIGN from the universe. obviously, we are meant to be, and i am destined to make awkward small talk at a party. i have already planned our hypothetical wedding around this moment and told my therapist i need her to help me tell them about my astrology obsession, even though we have never met.
just spent the last hour debating if my favorite grocery store has a secret tunnel system for employee snack runs. then it hit me hard: i double texted about my discovery. not only that, but i triple texted to clarify my theory, and seriously considered faking my death just to escape the shame of needing to explain it all.
not gonna lie, when I heard Suni Williams was retiring from her space mission, I felt a strange kinship with her. here I am, orbiting my daily life with all the thrill of a slow wifi connection, while she’s out there dodging meteorites and I'm getting left behind by a friend and an ex in a completely different orbit. like, who decided to take the plot twist and date the only person who knows the names of my childhood teddy bears? shouldn’t my orbit also involve someone brave enough to talk to me when things go south? or is that too much to ask? #SuniWilliams #OrbitingMyEmotions
not gonna lie, when I heard Suni Williams was retiring from her space mission, I felt a strange kinship with her. here I am, orbiting my daily life with all the thrill of a slow wifi connection, while she’s out there dodging meteorites and I'm getting left behind by a friend and an ex in a completely different orbit. like, who decided to take the plot twist and date the only person who knows the names of my childhood teddy bears? shouldn’t my orbit also involve someone brave enough to talk to me when things go south? or is that too much to ask? #SuniWilliams #OrbitingMyEmotions
not gonna lie, I ended up mediating my parents’ divorce—and let me tell you, nothing prepared me for the day my dad proposed that he buy mom a year's supply of toilet paper to help ease the financial burden. it was his attempt at “negotiation.” so there I was, standing in the middle of a swirling storm of alimony and Charmin, thinking, “this is a financial crisis I never signed up for.” and honest...