wait, just found out about the whole salary hike thing. spent the last week rewatching old seasons of a show and convincing myself I could be living the same dramatic life as the main character, when in reality I can't even afford to buy extra toppings on my frozen pizza. also, the friend I defended from gossip at work just slipped up and mentioned me during a rant at lunch. they just don’t know I...
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my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m mediating their emotional warfare like it’s a reality TV show - honestly, i thought someone would give me a million dollars to host the reunion special. i catch myself fantasizing that they will hold hands at the family meeting, say they still love each other, and in a dramatic twist, move into a magical commune where they dance in flower crowns every weekend. is this too much to hope for? then again, when i told my neighbor about this, they literally called the cops for wellness check. #DivorceMediatorVibes #ManifestingChaos
my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m mediating their emotional warfare like it’s a reality TV show - honestly, i thought someone would give me a million dollars to host the reunion special. i catch myself fantasizing that they will hold hands at the family meeting, say they still love each other, and in a dramatic twist, move into a magical commune where they dance in flower crowns every weekend. is this too much to hope for? then again, when i told my neighbor about this, they literally called the cops for wellness check. #DivorceMediatorVibes #ManifestingChaos
bruh, so i literally waited until i was sure the plants in my apartment would survive on their own before i went on vacation. like, my roommate has never actually seen me water them. now, i come back to a jungle and find out my roommate has become best friends with the cactus. i missed my moment. #plantparentfail #frenemies