have you ever been the last person picked for an alien-themed book club that literally turned into a civil war over whether green Martians or blue ones are superior? i thought i would be joining a cute space community, but instead, i’m stuck in a living room staring at a two-hour PowerPoint on why blue Martians are “just fundamentally better.” honestly, the only thing alien here is how people will...
it’s 4am and my neighbor’s ferret just decided this was the perfect time for a RAVE. lights flashing, the little guy is living his best life while I’m over here reimagining my retirement plan as “one of these days, maybe.” at this point, my financial dreams consist of winning a competitive bread-baking contest because that seems the most realistic. #FerretRave #BreadWinners
honestly, I turned down the chance to attend a live taping of my favorite reality show. it felt too cliché, right? fast forward a month, and I’m watching the episode from my couch, stomach churning. there was a literal close-up of the person who took my spot holding my exact custom-made t-shirt with my favorite catchphrase. so now, every time I binge-watch the show, I am torn between a cringe-induced laugh and absolute regret that someone else gets to wear my creativity like a badge of honor. like, where's the justice in that?
honestly, I turned down the chance to attend a live taping of my favorite reality show. it felt too cliché, right? fast forward a month, and I’m watching the episode from my couch, stomach churning. there was a literal close-up of the person who took my spot holding my exact custom-made t-shirt with my favorite catchphrase. so now, every time I binge-watch the show, I am torn between a cringe-induced laugh and absolute regret that someone else gets to wear my creativity like a badge of honor. like, where's the justice in that?
do people in your life actually like YOU, or do they just enjoy your ridiculously extensive knowledge of plant-based diets? honestly, I sometimes wonder if my friends come over to see me or my impressive indoor jungle. I mean, do they enjoy our deep conversations, or are they secretly waiting for me to name all twenty varieties of basil? I always joke that if I ever start talking about soil pH lev...