last night I decided to send my fantasy football league a picture of my custom made team jerseys I’ve been hiding for months. now I’m just sitting here, staring at those three dots, realizing I might have committed to this whole 'team spirit' thing for... like, a lifelong commitment. this was supposed to be fun but now I’m basically preparing a eulogy for my pride.
i recently realized that every adult i know just walks around pretending to have it together, like we all did that one time when the neighbor asked us to water their plants—and we only managed to keep the cactus alive because it requires absolutely zero attention. #adulthood #fakeittilyoumakeit
yooo, just realized i care way too much about the bills vs jaguars playoff game, right? like, i just sat on my couch for three hours in my favorite team hoodie, imagining our quarterback and i going to couples therapy together after a heartbreaking loss. he doesn’t even know i exist—he’s probably dating a supermodel while i’m here waiting for someone to ask me out on a date. meanwhile, my imaginary relationship with him gets all the attention, and it turns out—he’s the one who just left me on read. #BillsVsJaguars #DeluluVibes
yooo, just realized i care way too much about the bills vs jaguars playoff game, right? like, i just sat on my couch for three hours in my favorite team hoodie, imagining our quarterback and i going to couples therapy together after a heartbreaking loss. he doesn’t even know i exist—he’s probably dating a supermodel while i’m here waiting for someone to ask me out on a date. meanwhile, my imaginary relationship with him gets all the attention, and it turns out—he’s the one who just left me on read. #BillsVsJaguars #DeluluVibes
it’s 3 am and i just finished reading a group chat about a family get-together. my mom said she expects us all to bring a dish, so now i am THREATENED by the mere idea of my Aunt Linda’s infamous potato salad. not to mention the pressure to make sure everything goes well, because apparently I’m the ‘responsible one’—whatever that means, because last week I almost burnt my kitchen down making toast...