literally caught my coworker taking credit for a project I spent weeks on. watched them act like the star of the show, all while I was sitting there, perfecting my award acceptance speech in my head. now I’m considering starting a blog on workplace betrayal. it's either that or throwing myself into a melodramatic Netflix binge. should I send them my latest podcast on the “complexity of deceit”? #S...
my parents are getting divorced, and somehow, i’m the mediator. just had to explain to my dad that sending a card with a cat dressed as a pirate to my mom won’t actually convince her to come back. i swear, i might as well start offering therapy sessions for dysfunctional pets while i’m at it… wait, i actually know where that cat lives.
last night I decided to send my fantasy football league a picture of my custom made team jerseys I’ve been hiding for months. now I’m just sitting here, staring at those three dots, realizing I might have committed to this whole 'team spirit' thing for... like, a lifelong commitment. this was supposed to be fun but now I’m basically preparing a eulogy for my pride.
last night I decided to send my fantasy football league a picture of my custom made team jerseys I’ve been hiding for months. now I’m just sitting here, staring at those three dots, realizing I might have committed to this whole 'team spirit' thing for... like, a lifelong commitment. this was supposed to be fun but now I’m basically preparing a eulogy for my pride.
i recently realized that every adult i know just walks around pretending to have it together, like we all did that one time when the neighbor asked us to water their plants—and we only managed to keep the cactus alive because it requires absolutely zero attention. #adulthood #fakeittilyoumakeit