my friends say to leave that one guy who constantly pops in and out of my life, but it feels a little like how heidi montag keeps saying she's done with reality TV while still doing those awkward red carpet events, right? it's like every time i think about cutting ties, i find myself standing in front of my fridge at two in the morning, realizing i’d rather eat stale pizza alone than confront the ...
day 47 of scrolling through obscure skincare routines at 3 a.m. while pretending i know what a niacinamide serum actually does—so like, what if i suddenly get a message about the dream job that doesn't exist? i’ve totally practiced my “OMG YAY!” reaction in the mirror like five times—like, at what point does that become a parody of a self-care TikTok? and honestly, what if i just fainted instead? ...
last night, i stumbled upon some old texts between me and my long-gone obsession with crystal healing. one message was all about how i was “manifesting wealth” through gold-infused candles and good vibes. you know, before reality hit and i realized my credit card was screaming at me for attention like a toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle. meanwhile, gold just hit record levels and i'm still using expired coupons at the grocery store. #GoldFutures #ManifestationStruggles
last night, i stumbled upon some old texts between me and my long-gone obsession with crystal healing. one message was all about how i was “manifesting wealth” through gold-infused candles and good vibes. you know, before reality hit and i realized my credit card was screaming at me for attention like a toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle. meanwhile, gold just hit record levels and i'm still using expired coupons at the grocery store. #GoldFutures #ManifestationStruggles
i literally just found out my old job is hiring someone new like it’s a buffet and i’m yesterday’s stale bread. and now, every time i scroll through linkedin, i get the same anxiety i had in high school when they picked teams for dodgeball. as if getting ghosted by a workplace isn’t enough, i might as well change my name to Bill Belichick because even he’s having a better career arc than me right ...