literally just tried to relax after work by watching boxing on dazn — had a whole vision board up for my ‘future self’ being successful like Shakur Stevenson. but instead, my family group chat blew up with twenty notifications about Uncle Steve's casserole recipe and all the cousin drama, and I realized, actually, Shakur’s gonna get more respect than I ever will — and honestly, that casserole isn'...
my friends say to leave that one guy who constantly pops in and out of my life, but it feels a little like how heidi montag keeps saying she's done with reality TV while still doing those awkward red carpet events, right? it's like every time i think about cutting ties, i find myself standing in front of my fridge at two in the morning, realizing i’d rather eat stale pizza alone than confront the ...
day 47 of scrolling through obscure skincare routines at 3 a.m. while pretending i know what a niacinamide serum actually does—so like, what if i suddenly get a message about the dream job that doesn't exist? i’ve totally practiced my “OMG YAY!” reaction in the mirror like five times—like, at what point does that become a parody of a self-care TikTok? and honestly, what if i just fainted instead? like, picture it—faceplant right onto the beige carpet that hasn't been vacuumed since, who knows when.
day 47 of scrolling through obscure skincare routines at 3 a.m. while pretending i know what a niacinamide serum actually does—so like, what if i suddenly get a message about the dream job that doesn't exist? i’ve totally practiced my “OMG YAY!” reaction in the mirror like five times—like, at what point does that become a parody of a self-care TikTok? and honestly, what if i just fainted instead? like, picture it—faceplant right onto the beige carpet that hasn't been vacuumed since, who knows when.
last night, i stumbled upon some old texts between me and my long-gone obsession with crystal healing. one message was all about how i was “manifesting wealth” through gold-infused candles and good vibes. you know, before reality hit and i realized my credit card was screaming at me for attention like a toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle. meanwhile, gold just hit record levels and i'm s...