honestly, I just spent an hour crafting a perfect response for an argument I had about milk preferences with my roommate. it spiraled from "I like almond milk" to me defending my entire life choices while plotting my dramatic exit from the kitchen. then I saw on the news about federal officers invading states and I was like, wow, what if they just show up at my door next demanding to know why I li...
so I was just sitting there, like, minding my own business, and I thought about how I have literally never checked my socks for holes. then I, like, went to my sock drawer. bad idea. suddenly I’m sitting on my floor, surrounded by a sea of socks, thinking that the real reason I'm single is probably my holey collection.
the way that i just remembered i was supposed to return a library book two weeks ago. it's not even overdue yet but somehow i thought i would manifest a time machine. i was going to *go back* and drop it off *in the future*... with my flawless self. #delusionsofgrandeur #librarylife
the way that i just remembered i was supposed to return a library book two weeks ago. it's not even overdue yet but somehow i thought i would manifest a time machine. i was going to *go back* and drop it off *in the future*... with my flawless self. #delusionsofgrandeur #librarylife
it’s day 47 of this polar vortex and i just found out my entire family thinks shoveling is a sport. spent last weekend outside, wheezing and regretting my life choices, while my uncle proudly recounted his *six snow removal championships.* don’t know if the cold air or my existential crisis was worse. but here i am—attempting to define my life while my relatives can probably name all the snowflake...