bruh, my sibling just got a promotion and honestly, it's like everyone is throwing confetti while I’m over here just trying to remember if I had lunch today. literally, it's like when Velus Jones Jr. got elevated from the practice squad and I’m still on the sidelines of my life, thinking maybe I’m just the backup who never gets to play. if they put all the energy into me that they put into my sibl...
wait, my manager asked me to train my replacement today, like literally right before a huge project deadline. i was over here imagining a life where my only worry was picking the perfect iced latte. then they mentioned my successor, and i'm pretty sure i froze mid-sentence, like, can they even replace me? because i still have no idea who will save me when my computer crashes in the middle of a mee...
just found out that my neighbor’s pet lizard makes more money than me. like, they hired this lizard for motivational speaking or something, and now it has a better paycheck. i just sat down on my floor and had a full existential crisis—what does that say about my life choices, huh? debating whether to start my own speaking tour on “how to successfully binge-watch obscure documentaries”—it could really turn things around… maybe.
just found out that my neighbor’s pet lizard makes more money than me. like, they hired this lizard for motivational speaking or something, and now it has a better paycheck. i just sat down on my floor and had a full existential crisis—what does that say about my life choices, huh? debating whether to start my own speaking tour on “how to successfully binge-watch obscure documentaries”—it could really turn things around… maybe.
literally just heard the school assembly news headlines today. apparently, students are protesting over some airline fines. meanwhile, I was at the local café, getting a one-dollar coffee that somehow became a whole afternoon of staring at my ex-friend’s new best friend on social media, convincing myself we were destined to bond over late-night existential crises. I’ve been that person sitting on ...