stayed up all night scrolling through my contacts trying to find someone to talk to but just felt heavier every time i saw a name that felt too far away, the ones that could make it all better seem to fade into the background while the rest just reminded me of all those times i chose silence instead of reaching out.
sat in my small apartment tonight, stacks of bills on the table, and my sister texted about her new job while i was thinking about how to stretch my paycheck to the end of the month. can’t remember the last time i did something for myself, just always so busy making sure everyone else is okay, even my friends seem to be moving forward, and i am just... here.
so i was in the middle of trying to fix the leaky faucet that’s been driving me insane for weeks, totally not a plumber or anything, and somehow slipped and sent a text to my neighbor asking if they had any wd-40 instead of the maintenance guy, like great now they think i am some kind of tool failure who needs household supplies from a neighbor while all this time i just want to stop the water bill from being even more outrageous.
so i was in the middle of trying to fix the leaky faucet that’s been driving me insane for weeks, totally not a plumber or anything, and somehow slipped and sent a text to my neighbor asking if they had any wd-40 instead of the maintenance guy, like great now they think i am some kind of tool failure who needs household supplies from a neighbor while all this time i just want to stop the water bill from being even more outrageous.
funerals are wild, my estranged parent shows up acting like nothing happened, hugging everyone like a reality show reunion while I stand there wondering if I should hand them an award for worst performance of the year or just roll my eyes so hard they almost get lost in my head.