just checked my bank account and honestly it's like every month gets worse, rent is due soon and i still owe for the last electric bill, really thought i could buy my kid that toy they keep asking for but now i feel sick because how do you explain to a child that you literally can't afford a twenty dollar gift when their world is already so hard, like what are you even supposed to say.
stayed up all night scrolling through my contacts trying to find someone to talk to but just felt heavier every time i saw a name that felt too far away, the ones that could make it all better seem to fade into the background while the rest just reminded me of all those times i chose silence instead of reaching out.
sat in my small apartment tonight, stacks of bills on the table, and my sister texted about her new job while i was thinking about how to stretch my paycheck to the end of the month. can’t remember the last time i did something for myself, just always so busy making sure everyone else is okay, even my friends seem to be moving forward, and i am just... here.
sat in my small apartment tonight, stacks of bills on the table, and my sister texted about her new job while i was thinking about how to stretch my paycheck to the end of the month. can’t remember the last time i did something for myself, just always so busy making sure everyone else is okay, even my friends seem to be moving forward, and i am just... here.
so i was in the middle of trying to fix the leaky faucet that’s been driving me insane for weeks, totally not a plumber or anything, and somehow slipped and sent a text to my neighbor asking if they had any wd-40 instead of the maintenance guy, like great now they think i am some kind of tool failure who needs household supplies from a neighbor while all this time i just want to stop the water bil...