do you ever find yourself rehearsing your reaction to good news that hasn't even happened yet? like, picture me. standing in my living room. dramatically clutching my vintage stuffed animal collection, imagining someone saying I won an award for the best spontaneous dance-off in a parking lot. so naturally, I whip out the "I am so shocked and grateful" speech. but then, just as I start crying over...
you know, seeing that melania trump documentary getting pulled feels a little like that time I planned my own award-winning speech for something that never happened. like, I even rehearsed my shocked reaction when I’d win an Oscar or something, completely ignoring that my last achievement was making it through the workday without crying in the bathroom. it’s like I’m writing a whole script for a l...
“so i was at family dinner and someone casually asked why i don’t date like my ex, like wow, did they just confuse us for a rom-com? i thought the last two years of them bringing up my 'charming' ex were going to end, but here we are, one awkward joke away from comparing my love life to the melania trump documentary – you know, something everyone pretends is relevant but really just makes you question your taste. at this rate, i might just show up with a documentary on my own life and call it 'the tragedy of choosing ordinary over chaos.' #MelaniaTrumpDocumentary #FamilyDrama”
“so i was at family dinner and someone casually asked why i don’t date like my ex, like wow, did they just confuse us for a rom-com? i thought the last two years of them bringing up my 'charming' ex were going to end, but here we are, one awkward joke away from comparing my love life to the melania trump documentary – you know, something everyone pretends is relevant but really just makes you question your taste. at this rate, i might just show up with a documentary on my own life and call it 'the tragedy of choosing ordinary over chaos.' #MelaniaTrumpDocumentary #FamilyDrama”
does anyone else feel like they can’t share good news without getting the vibe that happiness is an actual crime? i literally just wanted to tell my neighbor about how my new hobby turned into a business, and their face said “how DARE you be successful in a world where most of us are just existing.” honestly, it's wild how excited i used to be about life, and now it feels like admitting you're hav...