last night, i crafted a three-page manifesto about how my banana peel made a bold statement against capitalism... it felt SO good to get it all out. i even pictured it hanging in an art gallery, titled "slips of wisdom." but then i remembered i'm just a person with a grocery bill due...
ok but like, my parent literally looked me dead in the eyes and said "i'm not mad, i'm just disappointed" after finding my half-eaten burrito in the bathroom trash. they don’t even know i’ve been keeping it there for three days for ‘snack emergencies’... so much for the family trust, right?
ok but like, just found out my ex is dating my friend, and like everyone in the friend group knew before I did... they literally planned a BIG BASH for it, while I was over here, minding my business thinking we might, I dunno, rekindle something??? I had just picked out the CUTEST outfit for what I thought was a friendly catch-up, only to walk in and see them snuggled up on my favorite couch like it's some romantic sitcom... now I can't even look at cricket highlights without thinking "should’ve checked my heart rate instead." #BigBashLeague #awkward
ok but like, just found out my ex is dating my friend, and like everyone in the friend group knew before I did... they literally planned a BIG BASH for it, while I was over here, minding my business thinking we might, I dunno, rekindle something??? I had just picked out the CUTEST outfit for what I thought was a friendly catch-up, only to walk in and see them snuggled up on my favorite couch like it's some romantic sitcom... now I can't even look at cricket highlights without thinking "should’ve checked my heart rate instead." #BigBashLeague #awkward
literally just had my coworker forward my entire rant about how dakota fanning is the queen of misunderstood classics to the team chat like it was a quarterly report. now everyone thinks i have feelings about cinema when really i can’t even decide what to eat for lunch. it’s been three hours, and i'm still plotting how to resign gracefully like a tragic heroine. #DakotaFanning #dramaticflair