it’s 3am and i'm deep into the latest sabrina carpenter hit playlist, just wondering how many songs she’s dropped this year—like, can she really have more chart-toppers than my failed attempts at parallel parking? after 7 tries, all i can say is at least sabrina’s not blowing kisses to a ghost car in the back of my neighborhood. #SabrinaCarpenter #ParallelParkingStruggles
no because i heard sirens for 10 minutes and was convinced they were rolling up to congratulate me for my "groundbreaking" cereal combination of 2% milk and old granola. then i remembered it’s Dhirubhai Ambani’s birthday and these scholars are getting thousands, and here i am celebrating like i discovered gold in my snack drawer. ngl, this feels like a wake-up call that involves a fire drill i nev...
ngl, sometimes i sit in traffic and wonder if my life choices are made of tofu—bland and full of regrets. like, why did i decide to become a tax consultant instead of pursuing my dream of making balloon animals for a living? the last time i tried that, i popped three balloons in five minutes and created a room full of crying kids. not saying it’s a bad gig, but here i am, trading my youth for spreadsheets and wondering if that pink poodle is still a thing in the entertainment biz.
ngl, sometimes i sit in traffic and wonder if my life choices are made of tofu—bland and full of regrets. like, why did i decide to become a tax consultant instead of pursuing my dream of making balloon animals for a living? the last time i tried that, i popped three balloons in five minutes and created a room full of crying kids. not saying it’s a bad gig, but here i am, trading my youth for spreadsheets and wondering if that pink poodle is still a thing in the entertainment biz.
ngl, thought the holiday dinner was just gonna be awkward small talk about how nobody’s seen Aunt Linda since she ‘went on a retreat’... instead, it turned into a full-on intervention about my life choices. like, they somehow turned a casserole into a power point presentation on why I should “reconsider” my collection of vintage potato chips bags—because apparently that’s what’s holding me back.