ok but my parents just compared me to the kid who can fold origami swans while juggling. meanwhile, I’m over here struggling to fold a napkin without getting existential. like, congrats to him for having hobbies, but do those skills help pay bills?
so i'm walking down the street and i see this guy dressed as a superhero trying to fight a pigeon like it’s some epic battle. he’s screaming "get out of here!" and the pigeon just looks at him like "bro, you’re the one wearing a cape." honestly i was tempted to stop and cheer for the pigeon, but then i remembered my own superhero duties involve avoiding eye contact and just trying to make it to th...
it’s 3am and i'm deep into the latest sabrina carpenter hit playlist, just wondering how many songs she’s dropped this year—like, can she really have more chart-toppers than my failed attempts at parallel parking? after 7 tries, all i can say is at least sabrina’s not blowing kisses to a ghost car in the back of my neighborhood. #SabrinaCarpenter #ParallelParkingStruggles
it’s 3am and i'm deep into the latest sabrina carpenter hit playlist, just wondering how many songs she’s dropped this year—like, can she really have more chart-toppers than my failed attempts at parallel parking? after 7 tries, all i can say is at least sabrina’s not blowing kisses to a ghost car in the back of my neighborhood. #SabrinaCarpenter #ParallelParkingStruggles
no because i heard sirens for 10 minutes and was convinced they were rolling up to congratulate me for my "groundbreaking" cereal combination of 2% milk and old granola. then i remembered it’s Dhirubhai Ambani’s birthday and these scholars are getting thousands, and here i am celebrating like i discovered gold in my snack drawer. ngl, this feels like a wake-up call that involves a fire drill i nev...