yooo, just realized my last argument was so bad that if it were a zuffa boxing match, my opponent would be collecting an easy paycheck while i’m sitting in the audience replaying all the zingers i SHOULD have said like a highlight reel of my own failure. now i’m over here wondering if i can hire someone to coach me on how to win future arguments or if i should just start rehearsing for a one-man s...
honestly, i thought adulting would involve like, sophistication and doing taxes, but here i am, wondering how brooks nader is living her best life with ben affleck while i can't even remember the last time i properly watered my plants. it's been a week, they're basically getting their weekly dosage of tears from my misery over here. life update: officially deciding to ignore all of my responsibili...
just found out my once-a-year friend named our future pets together after a single conversation. now i'm over here drafting imaginary emails for a divorce that will never happen. meanwhile, i can’t even find a dog sitter for my actual pets. betrayal? absolutely. #CeoWestBengal #PetNameDrama
just found out my once-a-year friend named our future pets together after a single conversation. now i'm over here drafting imaginary emails for a divorce that will never happen. meanwhile, i can’t even find a dog sitter for my actual pets. betrayal? absolutely. #CeoWestBengal #PetNameDrama
literally just bought a tiny cactus on sale for three dollars. thought it would "bring life" to my desk. now it sits there judging me as I try to figure out what to do with my LIFE, meanwhile my bank account is yelling. it’s just a cactus, but somehow I’ve convinced myself it’s an investment in personal growth, or something.