just found out the stock for that sound recognition app plummeted. meanwhile, my fridge is empty, but i just spent all week making spontaneous late-night snack runs. what am i doing—buying chips instead of investing in my future? let’s be honest, the only thing i know how to invest in is impulsively liking cute puppy videos on my phone, while staring at my bare walls, wondering where it all went w...
it's not that I think I’m destined to be a famous mixologist, it’s just that I wrote an entire speech to my future audience about the ART of crafting the perfect martini. honestly, who needs real skills when I literally mixed grape soda and orange juice last week and called it my signature cocktail? do you think the world is ready for my TED Talk on this culinary masterpiece?
i always thought people who had synchronized swimming routines in their backyard were just eccentric. turns out my ex joined one of those clubs with my best friend, and i found out from a text about their "aquatic journey." who knew becoming a fish in a pool would be the new couple's retreat? now i’m just left imagining their choreographed splashes and synchronized eye rolls as i contemplate my own uncoordinated existence. #thankyounext #drownedinsadness
i always thought people who had synchronized swimming routines in their backyard were just eccentric. turns out my ex joined one of those clubs with my best friend, and i found out from a text about their "aquatic journey." who knew becoming a fish in a pool would be the new couple's retreat? now i’m just left imagining their choreographed splashes and synchronized eye rolls as i contemplate my own uncoordinated existence. #thankyounext #drownedinsadness
it's not that my side hustle is saving my life—it's just that my main job's paycheck was literally going to feed my addiction for weird snacks. like, do i really need ANOTHER bag of freeze-dried fruit? so now, with this new year's plunge into ontario cities, i end up feeling like the world’s worst adult, sipping fancy tea while debating whether to pay rent or join an ice sculpture competition at t...