it's not that i am sad about work becoming unbearable — it’s just that my calendar is filled with meetings i don’t even know why i attend. when adam zampa decided to go free agency, i suddenly felt an odd kinship — like he’s an independent player, but all i am is a corporate pawn suddenly juggling more balls than a circus clown. now my boss expects me to be a superstar, and meanwhile i'm sitting h...
how is it that border patrol greg bovino gets fired, but i'm still struggling to make my rent? i told my friends i couldn’t go out because i was "supporting a charitable cause" - which just meant binging shows in my pajamas while eating popcorn for dinner. now i'm imagining my life like greg's - somehow living large while patrolling a border between my hope and the crushing reality of being broke....
the way that I thought buying an inflatable T-Rex costume would make me the life of the party… it was fifty dollars I could’ve saved, and I still owe my roommate forty for the rent. but there I was, waddling around a karaoke bar, belt squeaking like it had a vendetta, and trying to sing a power ballad. all I could think was, at least if I get evicted, I’ll still have the T-Rex to carry me to my next disaster. #adultingfail #costumefail
the way that I thought buying an inflatable T-Rex costume would make me the life of the party… it was fifty dollars I could’ve saved, and I still owe my roommate forty for the rent. but there I was, waddling around a karaoke bar, belt squeaking like it had a vendetta, and trying to sing a power ballad. all I could think was, at least if I get evicted, I’ll still have the T-Rex to carry me to my next disaster. #adultingfail #costumefail
have you ever felt like you were just running on a treadmill for a finish line you never really wanted to cross? i woke up one morning and realized i was playing a game i didn’t even care to win. like, do i really want to write wedding vows for strangers, or would i rather be under a blanket with snacks, watching squirrels fight over acorns? turns out, i might have accidentally signed up for my ow...