not gonna lie, i checked my roommate's phone while she was passed out on the couch – it was one of those nights, you know? found an app called “oracle” and suddenly felt like i stumbled onto a cult. now i can’t unsee her horoscopes paired with intimate grocery lists... who writes “cosmic energy needs kale” with such conviction? it’s too real. if i was a secret oracle, i’d reveal her intentions to ...
day 47 of my screen time report and it says I spent nine hours today trying to convince a random Wikipedia page about pickles that they absolutely should be classified as vegetables. my dog was barking at me, clearly wondering why I’m engaging in such a ridiculous argument instead of giving him his third snack of the day. just as I typed, “pickles are crunchy and delightful," my computer froze, le...
my neighbor just put up an oracle in their yard. it's like they decided to turn their front lawn into a psychic shrine. meanwhile, i can barely tell if i want to get takeout or attempt to use that dusty rice cooker gathering cobwebs. seeing them commune with the universe made me realize—if they're divining the future while i'm trapped in a cycle of indecision over what to binge-watch next, maybe i'm just not cut out for adulting. but hey, at least my takeaway for tonight is more certain than their fate. #Oracle #UniversalMisery
my neighbor just put up an oracle in their yard. it's like they decided to turn their front lawn into a psychic shrine. meanwhile, i can barely tell if i want to get takeout or attempt to use that dusty rice cooker gathering cobwebs. seeing them commune with the universe made me realize—if they're divining the future while i'm trapped in a cycle of indecision over what to binge-watch next, maybe i'm just not cut out for adulting. but hey, at least my takeaway for tonight is more certain than their fate. #Oracle #UniversalMisery
you ever feel like you're literally just the punchline in someone else’s comedy special? so, i'm watching this epic showdown of ben shelton versus jannik sinner and thinking, "why can they rally like that while i literally just collapse at the idea of grocery shopping?" and honestly, it hits me that maybe, just maybe, my love life resembles that tennis match. one minute, I think I'm serving up cha...