so, i noticed that every time our neighbor comes over, they leave behind a literal scent that smells like wet dog and expired taco seasoning. it’s like their personal perfume. honestly, every time i breathe it in, i feel like i’m trapped in a very specific episode of a bad cooking show where they made tacos for dogs. like, can nobody else smell this? it’s completely unhinged. is there a taco dog t...
i woke up today thinking about how my life would look if i had just said "no" when they offered me the job where they pay you in stress and panic attacks instead of actual money, right? like, instead of filling out mind-numbing spreadsheets while imagining an escape route, maybe i could have taken up underwater basket weaving or something equally peaceful—i don’t know, i hear they pay you in... tr...
not gonna lie, i checked my roommate's phone while she was passed out on the couch – it was one of those nights, you know? found an app called “oracle” and suddenly felt like i stumbled onto a cult. now i can’t unsee her horoscopes paired with intimate grocery lists... who writes “cosmic energy needs kale” with such conviction? it’s too real. if i was a secret oracle, i’d reveal her intentions to the universe... but instead, i’m left wondering if that kale was just an excuse. #Oracle #CosmicKale
not gonna lie, i checked my roommate's phone while she was passed out on the couch – it was one of those nights, you know? found an app called “oracle” and suddenly felt like i stumbled onto a cult. now i can’t unsee her horoscopes paired with intimate grocery lists... who writes “cosmic energy needs kale” with such conviction? it’s too real. if i was a secret oracle, i’d reveal her intentions to the universe... but instead, i’m left wondering if that kale was just an excuse. #Oracle #CosmicKale
day 47 of my screen time report and it says I spent nine hours today trying to convince a random Wikipedia page about pickles that they absolutely should be classified as vegetables. my dog was barking at me, clearly wondering why I’m engaging in such a ridiculous argument instead of giving him his third snack of the day. just as I typed, “pickles are crunchy and delightful," my computer froze, le...