i was riding the bus when i saw a woman who was so intensely sketching the person next to her that i decided she must be a world-renowned artist, fleeing the art scene to escape her past. the way she was biting her lip, i just knew there was a deep backstory involving stolen masterpieces and secret galleries in abandoned subway tunnels. meanwhile, she suddenly stopped sketching, looked up, and gav...
it is 3 am and my alarm went off to tell me my paycheck hits in three days. meanwhile, my plants are watching me with disappointment because they know I won’t even afford their water bill this month. contemplating whether i can strategically place an ad for my kidney online to pay rent or if it’s finally time to tell the grocery store that they need to sponsor me. what if i take them up on that of...
not gonna lie, I thought my weekend was free until I opened my calendar and saw it’s been BLOCKED by a group text—no one asked if I could give up my plans with a THREE HOUR VODKA GYM VIDEO on the schedule. it was sent from my so-called best friend who apparently thought it was a GREAT idea to help a community garden bloom... without asking me to sign up for a career change. I didn’t even know vegetables could give me this level of betrayal.
not gonna lie, I thought my weekend was free until I opened my calendar and saw it’s been BLOCKED by a group text—no one asked if I could give up my plans with a THREE HOUR VODKA GYM VIDEO on the schedule. it was sent from my so-called best friend who apparently thought it was a GREAT idea to help a community garden bloom... without asking me to sign up for a career change. I didn’t even know vegetables could give me this level of betrayal.
bruh, just realized all the adults were winging it this whole time. like, they throw around words like "portfolio" and "retirement fund" while sipping from novelty mugs with quotes like "I am a unicorn" and suddenly, my whole life feels like a collective delusion. now I’m over here contemplating if I can make my way through life with only three good spreadsheets and a dream of starting a sock subs...