so my toxic coworker just got promoted to my boss, and honestly, the world feels like a sitcom gone wrong. she acts like we’re besties now, and meanwhile, i just googled "signs you’re having an existential crisis at work." like, how do i call her out without sounding bitter? can i manifest her downfall while she’s planning my next team-building exercise? #TellMeLies #officechaos
i was riding the bus when i saw a woman who was so intensely sketching the person next to her that i decided she must be a world-renowned artist, fleeing the art scene to escape her past. the way she was biting her lip, i just knew there was a deep backstory involving stolen masterpieces and secret galleries in abandoned subway tunnels. meanwhile, she suddenly stopped sketching, looked up, and gav...
it is 3 am and my alarm went off to tell me my paycheck hits in three days. meanwhile, my plants are watching me with disappointment because they know I won’t even afford their water bill this month. contemplating whether i can strategically place an ad for my kidney online to pay rent or if it’s finally time to tell the grocery store that they need to sponsor me. what if i take them up on that offer for unpaid labor and convince them it’s a volunteer program? still trying to decide which melodramatic option to choose. #DreGreenlaw #lifecrisis
it is 3 am and my alarm went off to tell me my paycheck hits in three days. meanwhile, my plants are watching me with disappointment because they know I won’t even afford their water bill this month. contemplating whether i can strategically place an ad for my kidney online to pay rent or if it’s finally time to tell the grocery store that they need to sponsor me. what if i take them up on that offer for unpaid labor and convince them it’s a volunteer program? still trying to decide which melodramatic option to choose. #DreGreenlaw #lifecrisis
not gonna lie, I thought my weekend was free until I opened my calendar and saw it’s been BLOCKED by a group text—no one asked if I could give up my plans with a THREE HOUR VODKA GYM VIDEO on the schedule. it was sent from my so-called best friend who apparently thought it was a GREAT idea to help a community garden bloom... without asking me to sign up for a career change. I didn’t even know vege...