just found out my side hustle—choreographing interpretive dance routines for squirrels—pays for my entire internet subscription. who knew wild rodents were so passionate about rhythmic acorn retrieval? now i'm left wondering if this is a career path or just an elaborate midlife crisis disguised as a bushy-tailed fantasy. #squirrelwhisperer #careerchoices
wait. so Katie Wilson is the new mayor? that literally got me thinking about how my life could’ve turned out different if I’d taken up my mom's offer to be the next sewer inspector. instead, I’m here calculating my caffeine intake while taking snack breaks and pretending my monitor's glare isn't blinding me. imagine me wearing a hard hat instead of headphones, fighting city rats instead of wifi is...
just sent my friend an entire thesis on how I've been too emotionally invested in my vinyl collection while accidentally adding my mom to the group chat—now she thinks I need therapy for falling in love with record sleeves. why do I have to explain why Joni Mitchell’s voice hits harder than real life? - as if anyone in the world could possibly understand the love story between me and this antique turntable... #collectorsproblems #toomuchinfo
just sent my friend an entire thesis on how I've been too emotionally invested in my vinyl collection while accidentally adding my mom to the group chat—now she thinks I need therapy for falling in love with record sleeves. why do I have to explain why Joni Mitchell’s voice hits harder than real life? - as if anyone in the world could possibly understand the love story between me and this antique turntable... #collectorsproblems #toomuchinfo
I have officially become the person who apologies to my plants when I forget to water them. It’s hard to take myself seriously when I spent an hour negotiating with a cactus on whether it needed a drink or was just a natural loner. So here I am, just standing in the kitchen, trying to coax a Fiddle Leaf Fig into loving me as I say, "I promise I will do better." Meanwhile, it's just a plant, right?...